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The Step to Healing

Initiating the healing process is going to be one of the most rewarding challenges you will have to face as a victim of Child Sexual Abuse.  In your healing process, you will find comfort, peace, and liberation that will ultimately lead to a healthier lifestyle.  This is not the easiest process however it is necessary and worth the while. You will need to find a therapist or psychologist because this is not something you can do on your own. They will guide you through this process and provide with tools necessary to assist you with coping and healing.  You may never be completely healed but you will be able to repair your spirit by rebuilding your esteem and awareness of Self!

I. The Decision to Heal

Making the decision to heal from Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) is the most pivotal and powerful choices one could ever make. This is the point where the survivor makes a commitment to herself to confront trauma and start to heal. The commitment to heal emanates in many different facets and arises from many different circumstance in life. One person may be mandated by the courts to go to therapy and therefore received healing; and one person may, impetuously, get the courage to heal as a result of some unhappy feelings of oneself. Many survivors have been motivated to heal by the courage of other survivors.**All survivors of CSA deserve to heal and must understand that healing is possible. It's never too late!

II. The Emergency Stage ​

Beginning to deal with memories and suppressed feelings can throw your life into utter turmoil. Don't panic! This is only a phase. It will not last forever. If the start of one's healing process, feels unsettling and over-whelming, it's important to always remember this stage and it is temporary. 

III. Remembering  ​

Many survivors suppress all memories of what happened to them as children. Those who do not forget the actual incidents often forget how it felt at the time. Remembering is the process of getting back both memory and feeling.







VIII. Grieving/ Trusting Yourself

The best guide for healing is one's own inner voice. Learning to trust one's own perception, feelings, and intuition forms a new basis for action in the world. As children being abused, and later as adults struggling to survive, most survivors haven't felt their losses. Grieving is a way to acknowledge pain, let go, and move into the present.

IX. Anger 

Anger is natural response to abuse and is often suppressed. Many people don't know that they have the right to be angry with the perpetrator which causes then to internalize and be angry with themselves. This may lead to depression and self-destructive behavior. Survivors are encouraged to allow this phase of anger to run its course. While in this phase here are some positive ways to express that anger:


Speak out publicly about the abuse;

Write a letter to the abuser and/or the person(s) responsible for protecting you.  This letter is not encourage to send out however this letter is used to help you release your emotions of hurt, anger, confusion.


Work to change policies in favor of the abuser. [7]

X. Disclosures & Telling The Truth 

XI. Forgiveness? 

XII. Spirituality 

XIII. Resolution & Moving On 

IV. Believing It Happened

Most adult survivors often doubt their own perceptions. Coming to believe that the abuse really happened, and that it really hurt, is a vital part of the healing process.


V. Breaking Silence

Most adult survivors kept the abuse a secret in childhood. Telling another human being about what happened is a powerful healing force that can dispel the shame of being a victim.

VI. Understanding That It Wasn't Your Fault

Children usually believe the abuse is their fault. Adult survivors must place the blame where it belongs - directly on the shoulders of the abusers.


VII. Connecting With The Child Within

Many survivors have lost touch with their own vulnerability. Getting in touch with the child within can help one feel compassion for self, more anger at the abuser, and greater intimacy with others.

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